Just the Tip

By Victor Meier

Let’s discuss the topic of the TIP. Dig this, Tipping is part of the cost of dining out in the USA and if you can’t afford to TIP accordingly then Fast Food is a more appropriate dining option for you.

Here is an easy and thorough guide to tipping in the USA. The appropriate amount to TIP for great service is a minimum of 20%. If you bring children (that means if they don’t eat at all or eat off of the “Kid’s Menu”) or you are sharing a meal then your TIP should be 40%. Seriously, you’re taking up valuable real estate; pay for it.

I didn’t start this trend nor have I ever advocated for its gross overuse; in fact, I’ve done quite the opposite. That is another story, though. I personally think that our tipping culture has been trivialized to an extreme extent, is despicably desperate and too much is given to too many whom are simply doing their job.

Tipping is yet another example of how the REAL “Trickle Down Economics” work in the USA. The economic burden is passed to working class people who dine out. When I was a child 10% was a good TIP. If you don’t like tipping then vote for a living minimum wage instead of blindly accepting economic responsibility for our inability to raise workers pay in conjunction with inflation. I digress though and will spare you more of Economics 101.

So, let’s examine Tipping in the USA. TIPS are an acronym standing for To Indicate Prompt Service (TIPS) or To Indicate Promptness (TIP). Therefore the act of tipping, in retrospect, is to reward your server for providing your party with prompt service. Service is not simply limited to taking orders and delivering food, though.

I have heard others then make a case for a discussion with one’s Server at the beginning of service regarding the TIP and the guest’s expectations for the promptness of service. That’s neither here nor there. The fact of the matter remains that we Servers live off of our tips and they are hugely important to our fiscal well being.

Here are the basics about tipping in the USA. Though, I have provided you with percentage guidelines TIPS should not be merely limited to a percentage. Servers are not mere numbers, we are Service Professionals, we serve you; we are not servants. Great Servers deserve your respect and your dollars to show it.

On a personal note: you may have no idea about this, but it feels great to see that someone has taken it upon themselves to TIP above the suggested amount even if it’s just extra change. People spend money on what they like. My good buddy and Pastor Todd Tolson once said, “You show me what you choose to spend your money on and I’ll show you what you love.” I can’t think over anything much more important to a human’s existence than sustenance and sanitation. Respect your Service Industry Professionals.

Not to get all Fight Club on you, though I must point out the fact that we guard your health in a large way. Servers and Service Industry Professionals as a whole understand food, wine, culinary arts, health codes, sanitation, etc. We know about your allergies and health concerns. No matter how bullshit or mundane they appear to us. Great Servers treat their guest and subsequent needs/concerns with reverence and respect. Great Servers…shit a good dishwasher is even charged with watching out for unsanitary conditions and guarding health code standards.

You probably have no idea. Meanwhile, we Servers operate knowing very well the statistically bad sanitation practices of most of our guests. Yeah, you nasty fuckers; you heard me right, nasty fuckers. 80% of you don’t even wash your hands after using the bathroom…nasty. And somehow we don’t deserve a raise after dealing with your nasty asses. You’d learn a lot from a Food Handler’s Course, my friends.

Servers are often times at odds with our co workers like Bartenders and Chefs as we are working to get you your food and beverages in a timely and correct manner. Just because your food is late doesn’t mean that is because of Server error. Though, that might very well be. In which case, please be understanding when your Server is truly contrite with you.

Pay close attention to your Server you will be able to tell if they working diligently for you and their other tables. Effort is something that is easily recognized along with sincerity. There are many more nuances than one may comprehend though. Please understand that a great Server is always tailoring your experience every step of the way. We want you to enjoy yourself and even come back. Listen for it, a great Server will ask you to come back.

A great Server enjoys their job and considers them self a professional of the highest regard. Great Servers are working for you and if you are given any sort of discounts for any reason you should TIP according to the level of service you received and not the adjusted check. At the very least you should TIP 20% of the original amount of the bill. The typical standard among Servers is that we do not tip below $5.00 for any true service.

Understand that you are occupying space in a limited section for your Server to make money within. There is a specific matrix that dictates how much we must make on average from each table within a shift. During slow periods Servers may only get a few shifts per week and must quantify our efforts. For example Servers almost always dine out and pay with cash; it’s especially easier when dinning with a group.

When I eat out I usually state right off the top that I am a Server and I’m easy to please all I want is quick but unhurried service and I will tip fat. No dickhead I don’t say it like that but you should get the gist of what I’m saying. I connect and paint a picture of expectation immediately.

Go ahead, do something like that the next time you eat out at a nice restaurant. “Hey man (miss lady), my friends and I are here to drink some cocktails eat some steak, catch up with each other and have a good time, we are in no hurry so please let us take our time and we will hook you up fat on the tip just keep our drinks full.” Something like that works brilliantly. Simply tailor that approach to your needs and goals.

So, basically when it comes to tipping, if you are happy with your service then reward your Server…that’s what we are working for. Moreover, the “Verbal Tip”…”You’re a great Server!” “Thank you for the great service!” Telling our managers, “Victor is a great Server!” all are absolute bullshit. We can’t pay our bills with compliments. Pony up and pay your 20% or more when your Server busts their ass for you. We all know what that means and it does not go without notice on all levels. Then go home a Yelp something positive about your experience.